The Abysmal Life of Crayon

Experience the joys in the life of jaded Sydney-siders Crayon and Jamin-kun.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Saturday Night

I was scared on Saturday, I just remembered - Jamin-kun was away at some kind of party, and I had planned on visiting my sister and staying the night. But at the last minute I decided to go home, so I could just sleep easy, plus I was looking forward to seeing Jamin-kun, since I hadn't seen him since I left for my haircut at *gasp* 1pm!

This is how pathetic I am now since I've been going out with him - I've been with him for 16 months now, we've living together for 3 months. All is peachy, but I need him and miss him more than ever now!

Luckily, the same goes with him - I know he misses me when I am gone for even a few hours - and I've seen him mope without me at parties. I once arrived at a cocktail bar in Newtown about 30 minutes late, and saw my group of friends through the window. there he was, looking mournfully at the entrance. I stood there for a few seconds, just thinking oh..., and then i came in, and he looked so relieved, he had saved me a seat and everything.

"Where've you been?" he asked.
"just taking some photographs of the street" which I had been with a cheap disposable camera.
Then once we settled in, and everyone was talking and it was loud enough to scream obscenties about the people around you to someone without them hearing - my friend A says to me "you should have seen him before you came. He looked lost!"

"oh!" thats all i could say, with that beautiful feeling of being loved! "oh!"

But anyway, back to the scary Saturday night all on my own.

So...

Jamin-kun was at his own party while I was at my sisters. I drove home, watched some TV, then settled down for bed.

Now, I will tell you something that is scary about being even slightly deaf.

Two words

Night noises.

Now, a deaf person who can hear some sounds, often doesnt know what they are hearing because it sounds wrong, different, higher pitched etc muffled etc. With my hearing aids in, I can usually work out what a sound is. Dog barking, a bang from across the street, a car driving up the drive way....

But if you are lying in bed without your hearing aids, trying to get to sleep (for people who have no idea - you dont sleep with hearing aids in) it can sound so freaky.

So I went to bed, knowing that Jamin-kun was going to come in after 3 or 4am, and in the dark - I started to imagine things. Now, don't get me wrong - I have not had many nightmares since I was a kid - and im not stupid - I am twenty-four year old girl now!

But man, was I scared! I lay there quivering - I swear i was hearing something, and I couldnt tell what it was! It could have been anything - i began to imagine how murderers or rapists would be climbing the stairs, laughing and having a loud coversation because they knew I was really really hard of hearing, and I was going to get killed - all because I couldnt hear them coming up the stairs arghhhhhhhhhhhh!

I had my head under the blanket, and I had text messaged Jamin-kun, saying "God, I am actually scared, I hate to admit it, but, when are you coming home?"

And he wrote back saying "Are you serious? You're SCARED? Oh, god, ok, if you really want me to."

And I wrote back saying "yes yes yes please do, It'll be great to see you yadda yadda yadda."

Then I went back to peeking out, trying to watch the door to the hallway in the darkness thinking, should I hide under the bed if it starts to open, or lunge at them screaming "Die bastards!" and try to scare them off.

ohhhhh, anyway, the end result is, i fell asleep in the end at about 2am, and Jamin-kun returned at about 4am, probably joking to everyone how he had to return to his girlfriend who has scared of the dark, and had texted him from under the bed.

Oh the humiliation. And the biggest fright I got of the night was when he got into the bed next to me! I woke up with one of those massive gasps like "Harrrrrrghhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

It scared the shit out of him.

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